I pace the room back and forth, shaking my head at the insult I was just subjected to.
“Seriously?” I push out the word through gritted teeth, “I mean, what is it going to take with you!” I get really close, finger pointed, poking at the offender. “One handful of fries? That is what this is all about?????
“I fucking HATE you.”
And with that, my stupid weight watcher scale gets a swift kick into the tile wall.
10 pounds.
That is all I have lost. In 3 months. Of working out harder than I ever have in my whole life. I workout, EVERY DAY. I run…..no less than 3 miles at a time. I swing kettlebells until my arm goes numb, I do hill runs until I think my legs are going to pop out of their sockets. And still you won’t move…..you asshole.
What makes it worse is I just heard someone say they lost 20 pounds….and they haven’t been working out…just watching their diet. How do you say, oh that’s great, when your toes now look like a hobbits from having runners foot and your scale keeps jumping back between the same one pound up and down? Damn you food, damn you to hell.
Cause Im hungry…..24 freakin 7
And no, I don’t want a stupid salad with baked chicken. That sucks. So does egg whites with no bread. I know what I have to eat to lose weight for my body type. Protein and very little carbs. I have tried so many times before to stick to that kind of diet, and I fail every time. Seriously, who wants to say no thanks at the birthday party when there are brownies…with icing…..or nah I can’t go out and have a great time cause alcohol blows me up like a tick. It makes me miserable to think of life without cereal.
So Im doing the low carb for today to get a goddamn jump on this weight thing….and its must be like what crack addicts feel when they are itching for a fix….all I can think about is bagels…..
This is going to be a long day….baby steps….
Tommorrow then Mr scale….just know if I don’t see some movement in the right direction….you’re going to be meeting the outside deck….via the second floor bathroom window….
Now where is my stupid sugar free gum……
The Target dressing room mirror is a filthy liar 
But are your clothes fitting any better at all? When I work out, I bulk up at the drop of the hat (thank you years of Softball for making my muscles form like a dude’s) and even though my pants are fitting better, I may actually GAIN weight. I’m with you though, they’ll pull bread and potatoes from my cold, lifeless fingers.
My “OMG im huge pants” are loose, my “eh I look ok pants” I can get up and button but look ridiculous, and my “Yes! YES! Wo-Ho!” pants still can’t get up over my thighs….
But like Lost, I think its all about the numbers, even though its not…but it is in my head….I can tell you what weight I was in every picture taken of me…I know I have to get the food under control and that is my daily struggle…
I completely changed my diet and started working out daily after spending most of my time on the couch… I lost 2 pounds in the first two weeks, and then gained them right back. To top that off, I didn’t lose inches either.
Then EVERYONE was telling me that I wasn’t eating enough. I wanted to start punching people.
Seriously though? Fuck the scale. I fully support throwing it and busting into a million pieces. I’ve started taking all sorts of B vitamins for poor adrenal gland function, and it’s making a difference. Maybe adding a B-Complex vitamin might help you?
These are the times when I kinda wish I weighed 400 pounds or so… that way, I could just clap my hands for 10 minutes every day and drop 10 pounds. Grr.
I will try that, thanks!
Im eating enough, but I swear my body has an allergic reaction to any soda, booze and bread…all my vices. I can’t even have them in moderation, at all, if I want to see movement with my weight….I literally had to talk myself down from having a hot dog with no bun last nite ( can you say extreme salt bloat?) so when I see thin women my age stuffing nachos in their mouths at Chilis, I practically start have a seizure, so unfair…
But Im pissed now, so game on fat ass (my fat ass that is….)
That scale is dead to me…..